The Shocker Part 2

February 2010 brought us A LOT of snow, so we had to postpone our daughters  birthday party due to the 2 plus foot of snow we got the week before party day! We had invited all of her little friends and family and were really bummed that the "Princess Party" would have to wait. You had to have four wheel drive just to make it to our home that week. So we did a mini family party. The inlaws, BIL, Great Grandmother, SIL and her boyfriend came to our house for some cake and pizza.

My inlaws, SIL and her boyfriend beat me to my house since I was picking up BIL at the bottom of the mountain. I get to my house and my SIL kicks her boyfriend and tells him to get up... (I found this a little odd) So he stands up and she introduces him to me... My first impression was.. wow this guy looks rough... covered with tattoos (and I'm not talking about nicely done ones with nice art and colors...) Looks like someone took a tattoo gun and just started drawing... (ugh)

We went along with the party eating pizza and talking... the boyfriend didn't say much and I assumed he didn't cause he was probably nervous. I did have this funny feeling about him... I wasn't sure why but he just seemed like he was hiding something and looked really tense. So the party was over and the inlaws left and Husbands Grandmother said... "I wonder if he has a job?" I assume cause he looked like one of those guys that no one would hire... I chuckled and Husband and BIL did too.

After everyone left Husband asked me what I thought about the new boyfriend... I said, well I'm not sure.. He acted like he didn't want to be here and was tense looking. I think hes hiding something too! YES I said this!! Husband said maybe who knows. We didn't really talk much more about it.. I figured they wouldn't last very long and we wouldn't have to deal with them much any how.. 

So a few days go by and Husband gets a call from SIL and she says I need to tell you something... Husband was at work and on a break so he couldn't talk for very long so... she tells him that her boyfriend has been in jail...  Husband said Okay so... (thinking he went to jail for a bar fight.. or something stupid..) She said I felt like you needed to know...  Husband didn't think too much about this and he had to go back into work so that was the end of the conversation.

So I get an email from Husband, saying I've got some stuff I need to tell you about my sisters boyfriend.... He tells me what she said and the whole "jail" thing just didn't add up... I wanted to know why? What for? When? and How long? So Husband asks his sister these questions and she gets all defensive... She got mad and told us it was none of our business... Red flag# 2!  I later got some info from the MIL that he had been in jail for Assault...  So I ask the same questions and get very little answers other than her saying I'm not sure.

Now, I'm really thinking about all of this and my gut was right he was hiding something... and they were too.. I'll go on ahead and tell you that my inlaws new this guy had been in jail for a while and had just got out for assaulting someone... and they didn't see that is was a problem that we didn't know this and he came to our home and was around my kid!!! Oh and the fact that if it hadn't snowed all of my friends and there kids would have been around this jailbird too!  My MIL denies that he would have been there for the actual party.. but he was on my list long before it snowed. This was one of the first things I said to her about this. I was so pissed that he came to my home and was around my kid, but even more angry that they knew about him and didn't bother to tell us... and that my friends and there kids could have been exposed to this guy too.

Since SIL was no help at all in telling us about his past I started digging. I had already looked at his Facebook page. The pictures alone of his tattoos and just the way he looked was enough for me to not want to be around this guy he just looked dirty. Someone if I saw on the street I wouldn't give the time of day. It took me a while to find info on this guy, but after much digging and a background check I found out the truth!

I will be talking about this in my next post!

The Shocker Part 1

So here we come to the insane part that has started this blog... So in January of 2010 my SIL decides she wants to try dating again and puts up an ad on Match.com... She met a few guys and went out on a couple of dates.. The one that she told me about was kinda entertaining. So she meets this guy on the internet and they go out on a date. The first date she bakes him brownies and asks him what he wants from a relationship...  I could just about imagine how this went since SIL is very pushy... So she said the date went really well and  they had a good time. He told her he'd give her a call sometime... Now from what I remember, she said that she called him and he wasn't able to go out and then later on he emailed her and said he wasn't interested in her. I tell you this cause this sent her in this "Every body hates me and my life just sucks phase.." I remember telling her that you can't just settle and fall for the first guy.. So I'm not sure how long it was but she started dating again...

In February we caught word that she went out with some guy that she  met online and he lived locally.. My MIL said they knew of his family. I didn't talk to SIL about this guy only my MIL. MIL said that she really liked him a lot and that she thought he was "the one" after two dates... oh and that they were "in love" too! Wait... back the truck up.....  she thought he was "the one" after two dates... oh and that they were "in love" After two dates.... I really thought this was kinda fishy... First, for me meeting someone online is a little fishy. I know, I know its the norm these days and all the cool kids are doing it, but for me it's just a little creepy. Maybe I've read too many newpapers, watched too much lifetime, I just don't believe in that I'm in love after two dates...  I'm in LUST after two dates yes I can see that... hell I was a teen once.

So the first few weeks of February SIL facebook status' were I'm in love, I've met the perfect guy... (reminded me of a teenagers hormones and mentality) I just over looked it and waited to see what was going to happen next...  So I get a call from MIL and she asks me if it was okay if SIL brought her boyfriend to my daughters second birthday party.. I told her I would have to talk to Husband about it cause we were having a lot of or friends over. She said that was fine and to let her know what Husband said.  I found it a bit strange and rude that my MIL was calling to see if SIL boyfriend could come to the party... This just proves my point that SIL will avoid me.

So Husband and I talked about it and I didn't want this to be the time that we meet SIL new boyfriend, but we decided it would be fine. I called my MIL and told her he could come to the party and told her that we would be having a house full of people anyway.. so what's one more. A few days after this conversation I got this message via facebook from my SIL.

Hello there favorite sister-in-law!

I haven't talked to you in FOREVER and since I am always at work I figured this would be the most efficient way to tell you about my new MAN!!!!!!!! So I met boyfriend on match.com and he is AMAZING! I know it's really fast but I am madly in love and the best part is he feels the same way. It has been too long since someone told me I was beautiful and he does all the time! The best part is he actually lives in town so I can actually see him, in fact we have seen each other every night since we met!

I've already met his parents and sister. Weird that Dad knows his Dad. Apparently they've known each other for a long time from the auto parts world. He also went to school with Cousin and his brother-in-law went to middle school with me and lived on our street in Herndon....small world huh?!

I would really like to bring him to Nieces birthday party. He has 7 nieces and nephews and I tell him that though I'm sure they are all cute there is no way they can compare to my Niece!

Let me know if it's cool to bring him. We'll have to do lunch or something to talk about all these new things in my life!

So reading this just makes me want to vomit.. First.. "Hello there favorite Sister in Law" HA! She hasn't talked to me in FOREVER!!  Barf...

So I didn't reply to this message instead I called her... did she answer.. no... did we ever have lunch... no... She got what she wanted we said she could bring her boyfriend to my daughters second birthday party and that was all she wanted from me.

My next post will be the party and what we soon found out about the boyfriend...

Vacation

So most of 2008 and 2009 we only had to deal with SIL on the holidays. Everything was pretty much the same, she would act like nothing had ever happened and be kind to you when she wanted something.  I just dealt with her when I had too. I wasn't going to go out of my way to try to have a relationship with her.

In September of 2009 the family went on vacation to the beach. We all shared a beach house and before the trip I wasn't looking forward to spending a whole week around her, but it was a trip to the beach and we really wanted to go. So we packed up and went to the Outer Banks and spent a week with Husbands family, (Grandparents, Aunt,Uncles and Cousin too)

This whole trip my SIL played nice and acted like we were the best of friends. We swam in the pool together, talked about books that we were reading and just kinda bonded... (At least I thought) She even opened up to me and talked about this guy that she used to date (when Husband and I were dating) and told me she was still in love with him... they had broke up in 2004 not long after Husband and I got together. She told me how she was still in love with him and how she would still be with him, but he refused to marry her or anyone else.

Later on that night, MIL,SIL, cousin and I were talking about random stuff. Just really "shooting the shit" and SIL brought up her ex boyfriend again. She was talking to cousin and telling her about the guy... MIL spoke up and said, "yeah, well it didn't take you long to sleep with that guy too" She said to us, (myself and cousin) "You know she slept with him the first night she met him!!"  Wait, a minute...... Are you thinking back to my post about her calling me a whore... cause her brother and I lived together before we got married???  So SIL sat there looking at her mother and was speechless that she let that cat out of the bag.... I couldn't help but look at my SIL and chuckle... I could tell by the look on her face she knew why I was laughing... but to make sure she knew I "had her number" I said, "Wow, that's kinda sudden... I didn't sleep with husband on our first date.. it was a lot later than that.."  But yet she thinks I'm a whore... Ha ha! So our beach trip ending and we came back home, back to the real world and SIL never talked unless we had too.

I'll end this post on a happy note that Husband and I came home with a nice little surprise from the beach. We found out that we were pregnant with our second little one! Both of my kids are nice little souvenirs from our beach trips.

Been Used?

So my pregnancy with my first child was rough... I was sick for the first trimester. I had to quit my job and stay home to take care of myself and my unborn daughter. Yep, my first baby is a little girl. She is almost 3 now. Time just flew by. She is a wonderful little ball of energy! I love her so much!

So the minute that I had my little girl, SIL made sure that she would be home so she could meet her niece. This meant she would be at my house and have to be around me. So funny that when she was here during that time she acted like my best friend. (Barf)  I knew what she was doing, she did too...  I told my husband too... the only reason she was being nice is cause she wants to be around our kid...  My gut told me that she was coming to my house and being nice to me to my face, but probably bashing my name every chance she got when I wasn't around... Now, I know what you're probably thinking... Wow...are you paranoid or something?? Well just hear me out. Trust me, I have my reasons and I'll share them and you can tell me what you think.

So my reasons for thinking she would bash my name is my MIL has said on several instances, "Watch what you say" to the SIL when shes at our house when she's (SIL) in baby's room cause the monitors are on... Now, you tell me why she needs to watch what she says to my infant child?????  I don't think she would say anything about her niece... But would she say something bad about her niece's mother? Well have you read my last posts? Hum.... I've never caught her saying anything about me behind my back or to my daughter, but boy does that make you suspicious??? This has happened on more than one occasion  too... Makes me wonder what SIL has said to MIL.

At this point I thought MIL and I were close too. She was coming to my house almost every weekend to see her grandchild. We still would do stuff together and call each other all the time. You see SIL was still in school 10 hours away... So SIL went back to school and life went on... she never called me to find out how my kid was doing, she would get all of her info from her mother.. anything to keep up with my kids life, but making sure she didn't have to talk to me... I saw it and I'm certain no one else did and if they did they didn't bother to say anything...  I will remind you that I've done nothing to this person that I know of and if I have.. she can't tell me to this day what I have done.

SIL's  behavior has been really rocky in her own life.. she's be diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder... I do see this in her... I did take the time to read about this and try to understand it more, when her own mother ignored it and wouldn't talk about it... oh and her father did the same thing.. they both  just shut it out like it was never diagnosed...

SIL has Bi Polar, but that's not her only problem... She has always got what she wanted and rarely ever told no.. This is what I have been told by husband and other family members too. Oh, and it shows now too cause as of today, Dec. 26th 2010 it's still happening.. she is almost 29 years old and if she wants it, she gets it... Now ask me if she has a job? Nope.. but yet she drives a nice car, shops all the time, has a fancy phone and goes and does stuff all the time... on whose dime you ask? well, that would be her parents... You ask why I'm telling you this cause, it proves a point that she gets what she wants and it doesn't matter who it hurts "as long as SIL is happy"  I also bring this up cause both MIL and FIL have come to me and complained about SIL's spending habits and the fact that she doesn't have a job!  If I say anything negative about it, I'm the bad guy... oh and we don't want to hurt SIL's feelings or get her upset cause she may hurt herself... Yes, she (SIL) uses that! I'm not making light of being Bi Polar at ALL!!! Please don't think that!!!  Being a spoiled brat that gets what she wants and can hurt anyone in the process of making sure she can get her way... well that's a different story.

I'll wrap this post up with that and we'll have to do a Part 2 on this later!

Dinner With Some Friends Of The Family

So in June of 2007 Husband and I had some REALLY big news to share, we found out that I was pregnant with our first child!! What BIG news we had to tell our family. We had made plans with his parents that they would come over to our house and visit, then we would all go out to dinner with some friends of the family. Our plan was to tell the inlaws that we were pregnant before dinner and then share the news with everyone else at dinner. Of course our plans changed, when SIL had to spend time out with MIL all day and didn't make it out our way until it was time for us to meet everyone at the restaurant.  We said we would tell them later and went to eat with friends.

I had met the woman that we had dinner with before, she had came to our wedding, but I hadn't met her son or his two friends before. So we all sit down to eat and I'm talking to our friends son and hes asking how husband and I met and I told him,  you know small talk... some how or another it got brought up that Husband and I lived together before we got married... (big deal right)  So our friend kinda teased us about it.. no biggie cause he's not a saint or anything... Well I said yeah so we lived together before we go married, and my SIL interrupts me and says "Yeah, You WHORE"  Here I am at a dinner table with people I hardly know and she just called me a whore!! I was embarrassed and humiliated that she said that! I turned and looked at my Husband and said, wow I'm a whore?? I'm not the one that slept with my tattoo artist for a tip cause I didn't have enough money to pay him for his work...  She just looked at me... couldn't believe that I knew about that and that I said that in front of her Father too!

At this point, I'm PISSED!!! Hormonal (pregnant) and ready to beat the shit out of this bitch for calling me a whore and embarrassing me in front of these people that I just met.  I was so made I was shaking and I was ready to go home... It was all I could do to keep myself on my side of the table, and I bet if I wouldn't have been pregnant I would have come across the table after her.

Dinner finally is over and Husbands takes me to the car and we are about to go home. Husband asks his parents to drop by our house cause we wanted to share some news with them. At this point I'm so angry that I don't want to tell anyone that I'm pregnant and I certainly don't want to be anywhere near my SIL. Well, they come by the house any way and we tell them that I'm pregnant and my SIL gets so excited that she's going to be an Aunt.. She even hugs me like the event at dinner never happened... Two-Faced Fuckin' Bitch just make me even more angry.... I'm the only one that noticed this and once again I just let it go.

I've never in my life had to deal with someone that acted like this. This is just beyond my comprehension.. I've done nothing to this person to deserve being treated this way... At first, I just thought okay this girl is just childish and needs to grow up.... At this point I was just annoyed by her and told Husband that I wouldn't put up with anymore shit from her..

After The Bridesmaid Dress Came Off....

So we said I do, honeymooned and moved to a different state.. Still a good 8 hours away from the other side of the  family, things seemed fine.. My SIL never really talked to me after the wedding and I was a little hurt, but thought since we lived so far away it wasn't such a big deal.... at least that's what I let everyone believe... I was mad that she acted like we were going to be close at my wedding in reality she was just putting on a show for everyone including me. I felt used... Here I am trying to be kind, asking her to be in my wedding and trying to develop a relationship with this person and she blows me off after the wedding is over. I didn't say anything to her or anyone else.. I just kept it to myself. I had a bad feeling things would get worse.

So, we ended up moving again and moved very close to my inlaws, SIL was moving away to go back to school, so I didn't have to "deal" with her. She would come home on school breaks and holidays so I tolerated her then. In the mean time while she was away in school MIL and I would go out and do things together. We would go shopping and talk on a regular basis. When SIL caught wind that MIL and I were out together she would call every five minutes... Seriously, she would "find" some reason to call and make MIL feel bad cause she wasn't doing things with her... She lived like 10 hours away. It was her choice to go to a school out of state.  This is where I started to see that SIL had some serious issues with other people spending time with her mom... (remember what she said in my last post about the ex girlfriend??)

I'm not the only one that noticed this issue with her calling every time MIL and I were out... She would call all the time when Husband, BIL and I were around and we all noticed it and everytime MIL's phone would ring we would say oh it must me SIL calling... She must know that MIL is spending time with someone else...

Last crazy story for this post. We were all at a family get together... Aunts, Uncles, Cousins all together for something... ( I forget the event) We were at Husbands Grandmothers house.... My MIL was sitting on the sofa and I sat down beside her... no big deal right?!? well my SIL came over and sat on MIL's lap... I'm not joking.. She came over and said on her moms lap.. Acting like a baby.. At first I didn't really notice since I was taking to another family member. Then SIL started to wiggle her way in between MIL and me... I just looked at her and said, " Do you want to sit here?" She said, "Um yeah," like she was three or something... I couldn't help but laugh at her as I moved over to make room for the then 25 year old baby... I was not the only person that noticed this as one of Husbands Aunt's came to me later on and said, don't let her get to you, that's just the way she is.... REALLY!?!?

This insane behavior continues and gets more and more obvious as the years come and go. My next post will be about her name calling an how the two-faced bitch tries to use me to get what she wants...

In the beginning...

Way back when in 2004, when I met my now husbands family, I thought I was the luckiest person in the world, his family was very welcoming and seemed like "normal" people. I was so excited to have a good relationship with the "inlaws" as I've heard some serious horror stories about "getting along with the other family." My MIL helped me plan our wedding and was there every step of the way, calling on a regular basic and making me feel like part of the family. I spent a lot of time talking and getting to know her and thankful that we had a positive relationship.  At this time we lived 11 hours away from husbands parents. I met my husbands sister our first Thanksgiving together. We had been dating for about 5 months. I went to his Grandparents house with his family (parents brother and sister) My future SIL was well... a little standoffish with me.. I didn't really worry about it much, since husband told me she was a little "odd."

Moving on, to the following time we visited his family, was in 2005 we went to visit and I met more of his family, Cousins, Aunts, and Uncles etc... everyone was very nice and welcoming. I had a chance to sit down with SIL and she started telling me about husbands ex girlfriend and how much she hated her... She told me that this ex girlfriend would call his mom and want to hang out and do things together all the time and it was SO ANNOYING....  I was thinking okay.... so what... then SIL said something to me that should have raised a serious red flag.... She said, " I was so glad they broke up! She was trying to spend too much time with MY mom"....  That was all she said... I found this a little strange, but didn't think too much of it. 

On to August of 2005, husband and I had been dating for a year now and he surprised me on our 1 year anniversary with and engagement ring!! I gladly said YES! Husband was such a gentleman, he went to my parents and asked my Dad if he could marry me. So now it was time to plan a wedding! We planned to get married in my home town, and we lived about 2 hours away so planning was stressful and I needed all the help I could get. MIL helped as much as she could, given that she was even further away. I asked my SIL to be a bridesmaid and she said yes and acted very excited that we were going to become sisters... As the wedding planning went on she wasn't apart of much with the planning... she never called or returned my calls...

So wedding day comes and we say I do and kiss! Let the party begin!!! We had a wonderful reception and all of our wedding party surprised us with a little speech. My Maid of Honor who has been my best friend for over 20 years told everyone how husband and I met and how she had told me the day I met husband I would marry him someday... true story.. she called it and she was right! SIL got up and spoke about how happy she was that her brother had finally met someone that makes him happy and said "I'm so happy that I can finally say I have a sister..." She even cried and hugged me..

With all that being said, My next blog post will be about "After the bridesmaid dress was taken off"  Things changed... they changed very fast... I'm not sure why or what I did, but here goes no holding back from this point on!